A Scandalous Winter Wedding by Marguerite Kaye

Author:Marguerite Kaye
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 2018-09-07T17:54:00+00:00

* * *

You would never choose to protect yourself by betraying someone else.

Kirstin’s own words played over and over in her mind as she prepared for her expedition to Mrs Jardine’s brothel that night. A few days ago she would have had no hesitation in agreeing with Cameron, but now, sickeningly, she was forced to admit that it was not true. Though she truly believed that she was doing the right thing for Eilidh, and for herself and for Cameron too, every day that she kept his daughter a secret from him was still a betrayal. She was denying him his right to choose for himself whether to acknowledge her or not.

Which a growl of frustration, Kirstin turned to the mirror and began to hook the row of tiny buttons which fastened her full-length black pelisse. Since leaving St Giles that morning, she had been over and over this in her head a hundred times. Cameron didn’t want children, but if he discovered he had fathered Eilidh he would feel obliged to take on a paternal role, and the life Kirstin had worked so hard to build for herself and her beloved daughter would come crashing down.

Cameron might want Eilidh to live in Scotland. As her father, he would have the law on his side, and the right to do so. Eilidh was not—she would never, ever think of her daughter as a—a—she would never allow her to be stigmatised for her unconventional birth, but Cameron would not tolerate what he saw as a huge disadvantage. He’d want to give Eilidh his name, which would mean he’d be forced to marry Kirstin, and even if it was to be a wife in name only, for the sake of their child, Kirstin could never tolerate such an arrangement. She would be Cameron’s property. He would own her and her daughter, even her business. It simply didn’t bear thinking of.

Though Eilidh would have a father.

But Eilidh didn’t need a father any more than Kirstin had needed a mother. One loving parent was more than enough. So to think of her keeping his daughter a secret from him as a betrayal was quite illogical.

‘Extremely illogical,’ Kirstin said aloud to her reflection. The words lacked conviction. She, who prided herself on her honesty, was finding this abstention from the truth deeply uncomfortable.

With a sigh, she did up the last of her buttons, put on her hat and her gloves. The transformation was complete. The Procurer, not Kirstin, stared back at her from the mirror. It was odd, seeing her alter ego like this after what felt like a long gap, though it had still been only a few days. She felt confined, somehow, constrained, as if her true self had been bottled up, buttoned down, hidden under The Procurer’s mourning black disguise.

Checking her watch, she saw that the hour was approaching eleven. Butterflies began to flutter in her stomach. Putting her own concerns firmly to the back of her mind, she headed for Cameron’s suite.

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